Brisk sunny day in the Hill Country. Quiet times. The space between the branches is where birds sit; the silence between words is where the emotion lives.
There’s a front coming through right now. The wind is whipping the warm air around, corralling it and forcing it South. It’s windy outside, very windy. I hope the warm air ends up in a place where it can be appreciated.
Tomorrow should be a bright, cool Sunday … perfectly suited for quiet time and reflection, for good food and laughter.
Despite my many shortcomings and my wide array of faults, sometimes … sometimes … I get to have a perfect day.
Some folks thrive on confrontation … on the poker game … on the competition. The lens of the alpha makes heroes of the alpha when the alpha is often merely a foil, a tool of sociobiology.
Kindness. Cooperation. Don’t hear much about those in courses on and meetings devoted to strategy. Endless meetings. Endless games. The lens of the alpha.
After two days of rain, the sky is clear and calm. In the early evening here in the Hill Country, the stars seem to less bashful than when they’re making their appearance in San Antonio. I love cities, was raised in one of the biggest of them all, but I’m put off by that tangerine-glow at night. Nothing romantic about it. There’s no magic there; no longing … no stars.
I spent the morning reading Zen koans so my mind was full by mid-afternoon. To condense the mysteries of the universe into one or two lines … into a riddle of universal relevance … speaks to the boundless capacity of the human mind.
Master: “What is Zen?” “The cypress tree is in the yard.”
Well, there you go.
Today was a day of knowledge and reflection. I treasure these days even if my discoveries confirm what I’ve known for some time now: I need to make some changes.
Finite resources: time, money, energy, emotion. We choose how, when, where, and with whom we spend them.
Rain. Lots of songs and poems about rain. I guess when the sky feeds the Earth we should take note and acknowledge the occasion.
Today has been a really good day. Even the puffy gray sky is a welcome sight: it promises much-needed rain to our rivers and streams.
Every single human interaction today has been positive and encouraging … and that’s not unusual where I work. Yes, I’m very fortunate.
I ran into Mark today. Although he is recovering from a plague-like flu and is a very busy man, he took the time to chat with me. He told me about his new camera and showed me an amazing picture he took with it. He also told me that only about 5% of the pictures we take are “good,” which means we need to take a whole bunch of pictures to even have a chance of identifying a “good” one.
So, I will take more pictures. Hopefully, I will have more good days. I will see more puffy gray clouds that hold promise and rain.
“All men’s miseries derive from the inability to sit still in a quiet room alone.” — Blaise Pascal
There are choices we make everyday:
I am trying to remove everything wasteful, unnecessary, hazardous, unnatural, excessive, and difficult in my life. Simplicity. Less is not only more … less is optimal.
I am trying to make better choices.
Nothing — and I mean NOTHING — worthwhile is convenient. Whether we’re talking about smoking a brisket, fixing up an old truck, writing a poem for someone, selecting a gift, getting into shape, saying goodnight to someone you love … none of that is convenient. Nothing of value is convenient.
There are only two forces that drive us: fear and love. All of our motivations are based in either one or the other.
Anxiety, sadness, anger, shame, contempt, disgust — all boil down to fear … fear of the unknown, fear of loss, fear of threat, fear of judgment, fear of exposure to that which is considered vile, fear of being disliked.
Love is simpler: it makes us happy.
When we are afraid to love, we rob ourselves. When we are afraid to be loved, we rob others.
Sappho Rising 